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Cathy, divorce him right there. Run, woman, run.

SARGENT WARD IS A SHOPLIFTER

I'm so glad we're dedicating so much film to their gross, frigid relationship.

yay

He's gotta go flap in circles around the motel sign for a couple hours.

"I think I got slipped oregano again"

Yeah, I know how you feel. They told me this was a vampire movie.

More gross '70s making out :/

Doop a doop a doop, just a calm sheriff swagger, it's only murder, no need to rush, dee do dee...

"You're just very sweaty, Johnny!"

"It'll be fine after the treatments are over, I've been wrong about everything else so far so you can trust me."

Typical husband, fakes a coma as soon as they start talking about kids.

Sign: Hospital, Quiet!

Johnny, an asshole: TURNS ON THE SIREN

This is Sgt. Ward, I'm here to harass a patient.

Wow, that cop car handles like a sausage. He's getting out-driven by an AMBULANCE.

Yeah, the sarge just kinda blows, huh. Like, he sucks.

YAAAAAAAY HE'S DEAD THE MOVIE'S OVER!

Oh *come on,* a car from the 1970s rolls over and DOESN'T explode? Unbelievable.

Film's only like half over -_-;

John.

Kill the hobo.

Move on.

END THE SCENE JOHNNY IT'LL BE WORTH THE 20 YEARS IN PRISON

Hobo like, "Oh, sure, transformation, seen it all on the road."

♫ I killed the hobo ♪

♪ But I did not kill the dep-u-ty ♫

He's one with the bats now, twisted and goofy.

Chivalry isn't dead, it's just got a moustache that smells like shitty 50 cent cigars.

Remember when this was a vampire bat movie?

He rushes into the cave, he rushes out of the cave, I think he just wanted to steal another car.

Lots of greasy faces being put on women in this film :/

"This is Johnny, Bat Boy extraordinaire, signing off. Let's... Be careful out there."

A confession, you pork-based be-moustachiod rapist?

"Hey Mrs. Beck, it's me, the guy who tried to sexually assault you earlier, can I come in?"

>_>

Johnny, Johnny, I love you, for some reason! The filmmakers didn't think it was important to expand upon my character at all, but I promise I love you!

...You guys really gonna show the whole bat mating sequence, huh.

"It was just a nightmare!"

Yeah, you fell asleep during sex. Not the first time, right?

Can we just kill the sheriff? Give me THAT much at least.

Time to put Bright Eyes back in his cage :3

"Yeah, I was assaulting a suspect and then Doctor Zaeus beat the shit out of me."

She's praying to Saint Se-BAT-stian

I hate the sheriff, but I kind of have a weird level of affection for his shitbox dodge policemobile. All those clunks and screeches.

Someone's throwing ketchup packets at the car.

Well, on the other hand, it's nice that she finally took an interest in his work with bats, I guess.

Yeah.

Nothing happens, married people whine at each other, and then there's a bat.

The end.

God I hate this movie.

@CactuarJoe I would have liked a town fair full of blonde children to have been terrorised #Monsterdon