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Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to thank you for flying air #Monsterdon we will be taking off in roughly ten minutes and I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you to set up a hashtag filter if you'd like to avoid our festivities tonight.

If you're joining in now's a good time to get the movie cued up and get your snacks ready as we WILL be lifting off very shortly here. Thank you again for joining us tonight and we hope you have a great flight.

Listen, I've seen tonight's film before but I guarantee that's not gonna prevent me from screaming with incredulity at several points this evening. It's that bad of a film. #Monsterdon

TURN DOWN YOUR LIGHTS

(where applicable)

And we open with the Beach That Makes You Old. :/ #Monsterdon

BEYOND ATLANTIS

"Shit, we gotta go back." #Monsterdon

Not so much a catamaran as a Can't-amaran. #Monsterdon

She's very confused by the opening credits. Which, hey, fair. #Monsterdon

And now, the reason this film was made. #Monsterdon

Beard's pretty spirit gummy. #Monsterdon

Pretty good shot for a man with ping-pong balls over his eyes. #Monsterdon

Scene Two: Camera pans onto a pimp. ENGAGE THE CLASSY MUSIC #Monsterdon

Oh great, we found Eddie Deezen. Again. #Monsterdon

"HE'S DEAD"

Yeah no shit, I got that far >_> #Monsterdon

Man don't get buddy-buddy with the pimp, that's not gonna end well. :/ #Monsterdon

For completeness's sake, they put a ping-pong ball on his head, too. #Monsterdon

HARDLY ANY ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FILM #Monsterdon

"We don't need him!"

Nobody needs YOU man but here you are. #Monsterdon

Aaaaand the pimp giggles like a clown #Monsterdon

We are at male perm overload here, folks. #Monsterdon

"Deal?"

Sure, I'm a skeezy scumbag, that's great #Monsterdon

"~well ♪hello~"

Ew. :/ #Monsterdon

There goes their antique door, poor guys :/ #Monsterdon

*Seriously* an unironic purse slap, jesus christ #Monsterdon

Suddenly the soundtrack becomes a synthesizer stereotype of China. #Monsterdon

baaaaaaaaaarf #Monsterdon

"All right, all right, we can have gross nasty 70's white people sex, but THEN we do science." #Monsterdon

"Joy-boy"? I do not at all believe that about him. #Monsterdon

A THREE-HOUR TOUR #Monsterdon

I'm kind of regretting getting a new TV now. This thing has really good color expression and it's starting to burn the eyes a little bit. #Monsterdon

"If we get the gear out fast-!"

The film could finish early! Get to it! #Monsterdon

"Something's FISHY"

FUCK YOU

Got riffback on that one >_> #Monsterdon

Augh, jesus, don't jumpcut in the middle like that, christ D: #Monsterdon

DEAR COMPOSER

PICK A GODDAMN GENRE

...Did this guy just invent Noisecore fifty years early? #Monsterdon

Aaaaand we're done, okay, apparently that was everything the composer had and he's done now. #Monsterdon

AND HE'S DEAD, hooray! #Monsterdon

aaaaand back to the underwater ballet for no real reason. Someone with ADHD edited this film. #Monsterdon

Here's a butt! For you! In the middle of your screen! #Monsterdon

Whoops, got a little bike rack there :3 #Monsterdon

A MOTHERCRABBING TRAP? #Monsterdon

So how come the soundtrack is in stereo and the rest of the film isn't? #Monsterdon

...And why is it playing over the dialogue? #Monsterdon

Oh that is *entirely* too much fishman buffalo shot :/ #Monsterdon

I'm not sure I understand the purpose of a fur bikini for swimming. #Monsterdon

We GET IT

She's PLANTING PEARLS

Can we MOVE ON or do you have more RACHMANNINOV TO PLAY FOR US #Monsterdon

The edited bits of this soundtrack is *unbelievably hilarious* :D #Monsterdon

Shot on screen: Slowly picking pearls out of clams

The soundtrack: OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ MATRIX MATRIX MATRIX #Monsterdon

The goat's the best character so far. #Monsterdon

WELP #Monsterdon