retro.pizza is one of the many independent Mastodon servers you can use to participate in the fediverse.
A poly-fandom instance for nerds to talk about nerd culture. No Nazis, no TERFs.

Server stats:

281
active users

HARDLY ANY ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FILM

"We don't need him!"

Nobody needs YOU man but here you are.

Aaaaand the pimp giggles like a clown

We are at male perm overload here, folks.

"Deal?"

Sure, I'm a skeezy scumbag, that's great

"~well ♪hello~"

Ew. :/

There goes their antique door, poor guys :/

*Seriously* an unironic purse slap, jesus christ

Suddenly the soundtrack becomes a synthesizer stereotype of China.

"All right, all right, we can have gross nasty 70's white people sex, but THEN we do science."

"Joy-boy"? I do not at all believe that about him.

I'm kind of regretting getting a new TV now. This thing has really good color expression and it's starting to burn the eyes a little bit.

That ANIMAL, he's FLAILING in the poor man's general direction! Knocking him over with air pressure!

"If we get the gear out fast-!"

The film could finish early! Get to it!

"Something's FISHY"

FUCK YOU

Got riffback on that one >_>

Augh, jesus, don't jumpcut in the middle like that, christ D:

DEAR COMPOSER

PICK A GODDAMN GENRE

...Did this guy just invent Noisecore fifty years early?

Aaaaand we're done, okay, apparently that was everything the composer had and he's done now.

aaaaand back to the underwater ballet for no real reason. Someone with ADHD edited this film.

Here's a butt! For you! In the middle of your screen!

Whoops, got a little bike rack there :3

So how come the soundtrack is in stereo and the rest of the film isn't?

...And why is it playing over the dialogue?

Oh that is *entirely* too much fishman buffalo shot :/

I'm not sure I understand the purpose of a fur bikini for swimming.

We GET IT

She's PLANTING PEARLS

Can we MOVE ON or do you have more RACHMANNINOV TO PLAY FOR US

The edited bits of this soundtrack is *unbelievably hilarious* :D

Shot on screen: Slowly picking pearls out of clams

The soundtrack: OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ MATRIX MATRIX MATRIX

The goat's the best character so far.

Film's half over.

Just thought I'd brighten your day a little. <3

"There are places you should not be."

For example, on camera.

Oh his dream is to become a pimp. He's aiming high.

"Are you suggesting these people migrated here?"

No, they're just here on vacation.

"Look, fuck or die, pick one."

What is this thing you call... LOVE

BARF

Yeah the music's not the only thing off-key here.

"I don't love you."

BUT WE'VE BEEN IN THREE SCENES TOGETHER D: D: D:

"I'm afraid of this place."

The natives keep dry-clicking their revolvers at me.

Bleugh

70's romance scene D:

Oh I hope they drown. Please let them drown.

He only waited fifteen minutes before swimming! That MADMAN!

Yeah, leave him on the beach to be eaten by Gamera.

Personally I'm hoping for fuck AND die.

...Is that a theremin? What the FUCK is going ON with this soundtrack???

That's a big condom the natives are carrying there.

"VIC"

I WASN'T I SWEAR IT

"That sound! A woman is being dangled over a piranha tank! I can feel it in my bones!"

Grabbed her with his crotch, seems appropriate somehow.

Ah, now we get the Cannibal Holocaust part of the film.

"My ass is sacred to me!"

We know, Eddie, we all saw your bath scene.

GOJIRA! GOJIRA IS HERE!

C'mon guys, do 'em like Captain Cook!

Whoops, dude your ping-pong eyes are loose, tie 'em down under your wig next time.

@CactuarJoe It's like the date rule, right? On the third scene together they have to mate?

@CactuarJoe
It was colder back then....