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"Something's FISHY"

FUCK YOU

Got riffback on that one >_>

Augh, jesus, don't jumpcut in the middle like that, christ D:

DEAR COMPOSER

PICK A GODDAMN GENRE

...Did this guy just invent Noisecore fifty years early?

Aaaaand we're done, okay, apparently that was everything the composer had and he's done now.

aaaaand back to the underwater ballet for no real reason. Someone with ADHD edited this film.

Here's a butt! For you! In the middle of your screen!

Whoops, got a little bike rack there :3

So how come the soundtrack is in stereo and the rest of the film isn't?

...And why is it playing over the dialogue?

Oh that is *entirely* too much fishman buffalo shot :/

I'm not sure I understand the purpose of a fur bikini for swimming.

We GET IT

She's PLANTING PEARLS

Can we MOVE ON or do you have more RACHMANNINOV TO PLAY FOR US

The edited bits of this soundtrack is *unbelievably hilarious* :D

Shot on screen: Slowly picking pearls out of clams

The soundtrack: OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ MATRIX MATRIX MATRIX

The goat's the best character so far.

Film's half over.

Just thought I'd brighten your day a little. <3

"There are places you should not be."

For example, on camera.

Oh his dream is to become a pimp. He's aiming high.

"Are you suggesting these people migrated here?"

No, they're just here on vacation.

"Look, fuck or die, pick one."

Why do 70s guys always wear socks to bed?

What is this thing you call... LOVE

BARF

Yeah the music's not the only thing off-key here.

"I don't love you."

BUT WE'VE BEEN IN THREE SCENES TOGETHER D: D: D:

"I'm afraid of this place."

The natives keep dry-clicking their revolvers at me.

Bleugh

70's romance scene D:

Oh I hope they drown. Please let them drown.

He only waited fifteen minutes before swimming! That MADMAN!

Yeah, leave him on the beach to be eaten by Gamera.

Personally I'm hoping for fuck AND die.

...Is that a theremin? What the FUCK is going ON with this soundtrack???

That's a big condom the natives are carrying there.

"VIC"

I WASN'T I SWEAR IT

"That sound! A woman is being dangled over a piranha tank! I can feel it in my bones!"

Grabbed her with his crotch, seems appropriate somehow.

Cactuar Joe

Ah, now we get the Cannibal Holocaust part of the film.

"My ass is sacred to me!"

We know, Eddie, we all saw your bath scene.

GOJIRA! GOJIRA IS HERE!

C'mon guys, do 'em like Captain Cook!

Whoops, dude your ping-pong eyes are loose, tie 'em down under your wig next time.

Of course, the designated girlfight 9_9

It's a rather gentle rumble. Maybe she should've asked the scientist to take her away from all this instead.

This is *by far* the least believable fight I've ever seen.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME BUT YOU CAN'T STAY HERE.

Oh I get it, Logan's the *classy* one.

Whoops, spilled a little of the salad there. Sorry.

...Seriously

It ends with "ha ha ha" sitcom laughter.

Yeah, fuck off.

So a bunch of stupid white people destroy an entire civilization and don't even profit off it because they're too busy fighting with each other

and they laugh it off.

*Wow* fuck this movie.

On the other hand, now we've seen what I'm pretty sure was a lost Ferengi episode of Star Trek, so there's that.

@CactuarJoe yeah i came here for a fictional story not a history lesson