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Aliens with very thin sunglasses.

This is *by far* the least believable first contact I have ever seen. And I watched Invasion of the Star Creatures.

...Dude should've workshopped that title a little more.

Sad to see how far the letter X has fallen.

This movie needs to touch grass. Stop having everything have at once!

"Here, just let me load up the Zip Drive..."

Dude you can't seriously be doing a secret lizard people invasion plot in two-thousand and fucking four

You should know better than that. -_-;

I SAID I'M ALL RIGHT, NOW TAKE THAT DNA SAMPLE TO THE LAB

"Stand easy."

I'm not sure this movie can relax that far.

Been a long time since I've hard a soundtrack use an electric guitar to leer like that.

This film wasn't written, it was stitched together out of a vat of cliches.

He shot Colonel Sanders! Oh the fried chicken!

Not gonna lie, I was expecting Brent Spiner in there.

"Resistance is--"

*paramount cocks a rifle offstage*

"...Useless!"

"He's forcing me to relive yanni's greatest hits in my mind! Oh god!"

FOLLOW MY ORDERS

BY MY BEEFY CHIN

Everyone in this movie owned an iMac and thought the Macarena was amazing.

Couldn't have a moment where explosions weren't happening, could you movie?

The motorcycles are a *metaphor* you see

Gay sex is *so complicated* good lord...

Hm. Nope, you totally lost me, I have no idea where these two are in relation to each other now.

C'mon, do the Akira slide, you know you want to.

The cinematic equivalent of a six year old on three bowls of Sugar Frosted Cocoa Bombs at 6am.

Oh yeah, Godzilla's kid is in this one. I forgot.

"I think I'll call him Milla!"

He'll star in multiple Resident Evil movies and a weird Joan of Arc thing!

"Why didn't you kill me!"

Well, I can't say, it's only 2004.

"I was on the Gotengo. I shot that missile."

I spent thirty seconds curling my lip at the camera like an enraged ape.

Yes, First Officer Exposition, that's what I intend.

AND WE HAVE A TITLE DROP good work everyone

This soundtrack really is too much. I need to fight a Final Fantasy boss to this.

Did we just slip into a different movie?

Eeey, nice spittake, well done :D

Gargan is greeting them with fireworks, how nice!

Welp, so much for the cappucino guy.

G-man like, I *just got up* and there's this kusarigama fucker and you know what? I'm not having it today.

This movie is what plays in an 8-year-old's head when he gets extra mozzarella sticks.

...You know how busy this movie is? How impossible to follow this movie is?

I KEEP FORGETTING MINILLA IS IN IT

XDXDXD

this soundtrack I seriously cannot fucking take it

People forget Godzilla spent three years as a pro-wrestler in Seattle before going pro ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Cactuar Joe

"But why is Godzilla destroying the city?"

It's his deal, man. That's what he does.

That's... Not at *all* what happened old man.

"What was the point of it all?"

Well, you got that red leather jacket. That's nifty.

"It's my mission."

I'm a flat character, this is an action movie and doesn't give two shits about motivations or character development. C'mon, it's about time for another explosion.

You think we'll get a rocket-powered drop kick out of Godzilla this time?

Aaaand it's a line drive, just foul, good souvenir for some fan...

Love the shot of Godzilla in front of Fuji. Like, Fuck Yeah Japan.

I have never seen a film so deadly earnest be so *absolutely hilarious.*

"There's a way to destroy the Xillian ship, a small thermal exhaust port below the main.."

Kirby Superstar did it better.

Mothra you're kinda late.

Alien leader just lost the same boss fight for the tenth time, he's running out of quarters.

How come the captain speaks with the same cadence as Rowsdower?

Yes, thank you, we understand the concept of livestock.

I think after this film they had to stop making Godzilla films just because nobody could think of anything else to do that Final Wars didn't at least try.

So did I hear that right, the aliens are looking to steal our precious bodily fluids?

"You're a ubermensch, dude"

hoo boy 9_9

So when does he grow a tail?

Apparently evolved mutants get +1 on slap attacks.

Stabbed with a moth knife, that's gonna leave a mark.

@CactuarJoe Right, it's like he's never met Godzilla.