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Gargan is greeting them with fireworks, how nice! #Monsterdon

Welp, so much for the cappucino guy. #Monsterdon

G-man like, I *just got up* and there's this kusarigama fucker and you know what? I'm not having it today. #Monsterdon

This movie is what plays in an 8-year-old's head when he gets extra mozzarella sticks. #Monsterdon

...You know how busy this movie is? How impossible to follow this movie is?

I KEEP FORGETTING MINILLA IS IN IT

XDXDXD

this soundtrack I seriously cannot fucking take it

People forget Godzilla spent three years as a pro-wrestler in Seattle before going pro ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"But why is Godzilla destroying the city?"

It's his deal, man. That's what he does. #Monsterdon

That's... Not at *all* what happened old man. #Monsterdon

"What was the point of it all?"

Well, you got that red leather jacket. That's nifty. #Monsterdon

"It's my mission."

I'm a flat character, this is an action movie and doesn't give two shits about motivations or character development. C'mon, it's about time for another explosion. #Monsterdon

You think we'll get a rocket-powered drop kick out of Godzilla this time? #Monsterdon

Aaaand it's a line drive, just foul, good souvenir for some fan... #Monsterdon

Love the shot of Godzilla in front of Fuji. Like, Fuck Yeah Japan. #Monsterdon

I have never seen a film so deadly earnest be so *absolutely hilarious.* #Monsterdon

"There's a way to destroy the Xillian ship, a small thermal exhaust port below the main.." #Monsterdon

Kirby Superstar did it better. #Monsterdon

Mothra you're kinda late. #Monsterdon

Alien leader just lost the same boss fight for the tenth time, he's running out of quarters. #Monsterdon

How come the captain speaks with the same cadence as Rowsdower? #Monsterdon

Yes, thank you, we understand the concept of livestock. #Monsterdon

Oh, nice. Mewtwo. #Monsterdon

I think after this film they had to stop making Godzilla films just because nobody could think of anything else to do that Final Wars didn't at least try. #Monsterdon

So did I hear that right, the aliens are looking to steal our precious bodily fluids? #Monsterdon

"You're a ubermensch, dude"

hoo boy 9_9 #Monsterdon

So when does he grow a tail? #Monsterdon

Apparently evolved mutants get +1 on slap attacks. #Monsterdon

Stabbed with a moth knife, that's gonna leave a mark. #Monsterdon

We get it, you saw The Matrix. #Monsterdon

Temu Stalin, least believable Matrix man ever #Monsterdon

Oh come on, a slapfight? *Seriously*? Embarrassing. #Monsterdon

I'm sorry, I don't believe ANY of this. #Monsterdon

They are hiding behind ONE PILLAR

MOVE A FOOT TO YOUR LEFT

OR RIGHT

AND KILL THEM

"We accept your noble offer of fisticuffs, sir! Haveatchu!"

oh *come on*

Some *very* early 2000s sexism on display here. #Monsterdon

WE GET IT

YOU SAW THE MATRIX #Monsterdon

Also the last twenty minutes of The Temple of Doom, that was unexpected. #Monsterdon

As we all know, martial arts at its highest level is all about rotating in midair. #Monsterdon

Being shot in the shoulder is fatal to career women over forty :/ #Monsterdon

Oh right, there's still a kaiju battle going on outside. #Monsterdon

I kinda like Ghidora as a centaur, tho, that's nice. #Monsterdon

PETER PAN BEEEEEEEAM #Monsterdon

So now it's time for Minilla to come back and teach daddy the Power of Love? #Monsterdon

BY FAR THE LEAST BELIEVABLE THING TO *EVER* HAPPEN #Monsterdon

"Godzilla, it's over! You must forgive!"

Yeah, we've learned our lesson about nuclear weapons! The cold war is over, right? It's 2004, nobody could POSSIBLY start a nuclear war now! #Monsterdon

"So you came back!"

And since this is our third scene together... #Monsterdon

And the strains of video poker music sing us to the epilogue! #Monsterdon

FUCKING OFF INTO THE SEA! At long last a cliche I can get into. #Monsterdon

jesus christ #Monsterdon

That was exhausting. An hour at that pace would've been tiring, two is like running a marathon @_@ #Monsterdon

Seriously, that was BY FAR the least believable Godzilla movie I've ever seen.

I realize that's like saying it's the least throwable Toyota I've ever seen, but still. #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe We are cackling. Had to read that one out loud to @steggy
#monsterdon