Folks it is an hour until #MONSTERDON the weekly monster movie watch party. A bunch of nerds are about to toot about a corny movie, if you don't want to see it set up a hashtag filter.
If you'd like to join in, this week we're watching DRACULA, PRISONER OF FRANKENSTEIN (1972), which I fully expect to be as hokey as the proverbial pokey.
The flick's on Tubi over here, hit play at the top of the hour and toot along!: https://tubitv.com/movies/100040021/dracula-prisoner-of-frankenstein
#MST3k fans may be interested to know that this week's film is directed by Jesús Franco, the man responsible for The Castle of Fu Manchu (1969). You should come watch it with us :D #Monsterdon
Fifteen minutes until #Monsterdon~! Set up a filter to avoid it! Get the movie cued up to join in! All other eventualities are your own responsibility! C'mon people get your shit together!
You think Dracula had a public defender before he was convicted and sent to Frankenstein's prison? I worry about his rights being protected. #Monsterdon
I see someone paid the Dennis Price. #Monsterdon
You think that mist is natural? Nah, they set fire to a passenger plane just off camera. #Monsterdon
Aaaand there's the low-rent condo of Fu Manchu... The rusty garden shed of Fu Manchu... Fu Manchu's local eatery here... #Monsterdon
I'm always shocked by the mysterious powers attributed to bats in these movies.
Hovering. Knocking on doors. Opening windows. #Monsterdon
Oh Jesus, no. #Monsterdon
"Let's just take the birth control pills on schedule, this is a Franco movie after all..." #Monsterdon
Heh, they, uh, didn't get the grey paint QUITE all the way up to his hairline did they ^^;;; #Monsterdon
Cat's like, that was my meal ticket you BASTARD #Monsterdon
"Oh, sounds like a woman being murdered in the next room. Huh. Well, not my problem." #Monsterdon
So, Franco was credited as a writer for this flick. Do you think the script looked like, "Scene 1, act 1: Woman: Groan. Groan. Groan."? #Monsterdon
Oh hey, someone spoke!
Stop that.
GAH, JESUS, ENOUGH WITH THE EYEBALL CLOSEUPS D: #Monsterdon
Oh hey, turns out SHE was the Clapper. Wondered where they put that thing. #Monsterdon
And now, enjoy a horse's ass. #Monsterdon
Glad the horses seem to speak his language, 'cos I sure as hell don't. #Monsterdon
Are we sure Jesus Franco didn't also direct Manos: The Hands of Fate?
I'm just saying, dingy camera work, almost non-existent dialogue, bad dubbing... #Monsterdon
Man, those Jehovas Witnesses just don't give up, huh. #Monsterdon
And now, Dracula on the Haunted Harpsichord. #Monsterdon
WE GET IT
THERE'S A BAT PRESENT
MOVE ON
"Oh, no you want Count DRACULA, he's two valleys over. This is the home of Count DRAGULA, sorry honey." #Monsterdon
"Okay, well... I'm just gonna go now. I... I'll call you. I had fun! ...Bye." #Monsterdon
"The salt, the pepper, the bay leaves! The green wood, the ashes, the barbecue sauce!" #Monsterdon
They couldn't afford an actual script so they just got a dude with a sound board. I'm waiting for that one synth hit they all use, you know the one. #Monsterdon
"What... Is it?"
It's a bad movie, honey. Sorry. #Monsterdon
Oh, here's tonight's Torgo! Let's all give him a round of applause, hello Torgo! #Monsterdon
Two words... Sounds like... #Monsterdon
"Yes, well, we only have Pepsi. Is that okay?" #Monsterdon
"The site said this place was an open plan, I'm gonna leave this Air BnB SUCH a review..." #Monsterdon
DO SOMETHING
GOD >:(
Ugh, I hate Sister Mary Golden Hair -_-; #Monsterdon
...So is she our Renfield? #Monsterdon
Oo, Dasblinkenlights! Nice, been a while. #Monsterdon
Incidentally, the movie's about a third over now.
We've had like three lines.
WHOOOOOOOA
THE COOL RAAAAAAANCH!!!! #Monsterdon
Igor, as portrayed by Cheech Marin. #Monsterdon
Meanwhile, on the Moulin Rouge??? #Monsterdon
She's singing about the lunch specials. #Monsterdon
Whoops, found the one gay guy in the audience. He's critiquing her fringe. #Monsterdon
"Oh god, Frankenstein! You're slightly less attractive than the men out in the restaurant!" #Monsterdon
Disembodied Cop Voice! #Monsterdon
I know we've heard her voice already, but I'm mentally dubbing Fran Drescher in for the cabaret singer. #Monsterdon
Why's Doctor Frankenstein look like Jeeves? #Monsterdon
Huh. So *this* is Martinizing. #Monsterdon
HARDLY ANY ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FILM