You think Dracula had a public defender before he was convicted and sent to Frankenstein's prison? I worry about his rights being protected. #Monsterdon
I see someone paid the Dennis Price. #Monsterdon
You think that mist is natural? Nah, they set fire to a passenger plane just off camera. #Monsterdon
Aaaand there's the low-rent condo of Fu Manchu... The rusty garden shed of Fu Manchu... Fu Manchu's local eatery here... #Monsterdon
I'm always shocked by the mysterious powers attributed to bats in these movies.
Hovering. Knocking on doors. Opening windows. #Monsterdon
Oh Jesus, no. #Monsterdon
"Let's just take the birth control pills on schedule, this is a Franco movie after all..." #Monsterdon
Heh, they, uh, didn't get the grey paint QUITE all the way up to his hairline did they ^^;;; #Monsterdon
Cat's like, that was my meal ticket you BASTARD #Monsterdon
"Oh, sounds like a woman being murdered in the next room. Huh. Well, not my problem." #Monsterdon
So, Franco was credited as a writer for this flick. Do you think the script looked like, "Scene 1, act 1: Woman: Groan. Groan. Groan."? #Monsterdon
Oh hey, someone spoke!
Stop that.
GAH, JESUS, ENOUGH WITH THE EYEBALL CLOSEUPS D: #Monsterdon
Oh hey, turns out SHE was the Clapper. Wondered where they put that thing. #Monsterdon
And now, enjoy a horse's ass. #Monsterdon
Glad the horses seem to speak his language, 'cos I sure as hell don't. #Monsterdon
Are we sure Jesus Franco didn't also direct Manos: The Hands of Fate?
I'm just saying, dingy camera work, almost non-existent dialogue, bad dubbing... #Monsterdon
Man, those Jehovas Witnesses just don't give up, huh. #Monsterdon
And now, Dracula on the Haunted Harpsichord. #Monsterdon
WE GET IT
THERE'S A BAT PRESENT
MOVE ON
"Oh, no you want Count DRACULA, he's two valleys over. This is the home of Count DRAGULA, sorry honey." #Monsterdon
"Okay, well... I'm just gonna go now. I... I'll call you. I had fun! ...Bye." #Monsterdon
"The salt, the pepper, the bay leaves! The green wood, the ashes, the barbecue sauce!" #Monsterdon
They couldn't afford an actual script so they just got a dude with a sound board. I'm waiting for that one synth hit they all use, you know the one. #Monsterdon
"What... Is it?"
It's a bad movie, honey. Sorry. #Monsterdon
Oh, here's tonight's Torgo! Let's all give him a round of applause, hello Torgo! #Monsterdon
Two words... Sounds like... #Monsterdon
"Yes, well, we only have Pepsi. Is that okay?" #Monsterdon
"The site said this place was an open plan, I'm gonna leave this Air BnB SUCH a review..." #Monsterdon
DO SOMETHING
GOD >:(
Ugh, I hate Sister Mary Golden Hair -_-; #Monsterdon
...So is she our Renfield? #Monsterdon
Oo, Dasblinkenlights! Nice, been a while. #Monsterdon
Incidentally, the movie's about a third over now.
We've had like three lines.
WHOOOOOOOA
THE COOL RAAAAAAANCH!!!! #Monsterdon
Igor, as portrayed by Cheech Marin. #Monsterdon
Meanwhile, on the Moulin Rouge??? #Monsterdon
She's singing about the lunch specials. #Monsterdon
Whoops, found the one gay guy in the audience. He's critiquing her fringe. #Monsterdon
"Oh god, Frankenstein! You're slightly less attractive than the men out in the restaurant!" #Monsterdon
Disembodied Cop Voice! #Monsterdon
I know we've heard her voice already, but I'm mentally dubbing Fran Drescher in for the cabaret singer. #Monsterdon
Why's Doctor Frankenstein look like Jeeves? #Monsterdon
Huh. So *this* is Martinizing. #Monsterdon
HARDLY ANY ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FILM
Toaster's ready. Again. #Monsterdon
Dracula: I don't feel dead. Actually I feel pretty good! #Monsterdon
Watch them hands, Cheech Igor. #Monsterdon
Ugh, can we... Not, with this scene D: #Monsterdon
"Let's just warm you up by the fire, poor dear." #Monsterdon
Aw, Dracula beddy-bye time! You need a glass of blood? You got tigger and eyore? C'mon, we'll read Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooey. #Monsterdon
What? Wait, hold up, who's THIS chick? #Monsterdon
Aaaand she flees the movie. Wise woman. There but for the grace of god go I. #Monsterdon
THIS FILM IS JUST
CLOSEUPS
OF TWITCHING
"Oh yeah, baby, hey my UHaul is just outside..." #Monsterdon
"And now my powers were limitless!"
...Apparently? ¯\_(:/)_/¯ #Monsterdon
"...And that's how I got my start with Amway." #Monsterdon
I wish I knew why this film keeps zooming in on eyeballs like that. Maybe it was funded by a mascara company? #Monsterdon
@CactuarJoe Director's fetish
@CactuarJoe it’s like nobody took their meds