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Aaaand there's the low-rent condo of Fu Manchu... The rusty garden shed of Fu Manchu... Fu Manchu's local eatery here... #Monsterdon

I'm always shocked by the mysterious powers attributed to bats in these movies.

Hovering. Knocking on doors. Opening windows. #Monsterdon

Oh Jesus, no. #Monsterdon

"Let's just take the birth control pills on schedule, this is a Franco movie after all..." #Monsterdon

Heh, they, uh, didn't get the grey paint QUITE all the way up to his hairline did they ^^;;; #Monsterdon

Cat's like, that was my meal ticket you BASTARD #Monsterdon

"Oh, sounds like a woman being murdered in the next room. Huh. Well, not my problem." #Monsterdon

So, Franco was credited as a writer for this flick. Do you think the script looked like, "Scene 1, act 1: Woman: Groan. Groan. Groan."? #Monsterdon

Oh hey, someone spoke!

Stop that.

GAH, JESUS, ENOUGH WITH THE EYEBALL CLOSEUPS D: #Monsterdon

Oh hey, turns out SHE was the Clapper. Wondered where they put that thing. #Monsterdon

And now, enjoy a horse's ass. #Monsterdon

Glad the horses seem to speak his language, 'cos I sure as hell don't. #Monsterdon

Are we sure Jesus Franco didn't also direct Manos: The Hands of Fate?

I'm just saying, dingy camera work, almost non-existent dialogue, bad dubbing... #Monsterdon

Man, those Jehovas Witnesses just don't give up, huh. #Monsterdon

And now, Dracula on the Haunted Harpsichord. #Monsterdon

WE GET IT

THERE'S A BAT PRESENT

MOVE ON

"Oh, no you want Count DRACULA, he's two valleys over. This is the home of Count DRAGULA, sorry honey." #Monsterdon

"Okay, well... I'm just gonna go now. I... I'll call you. I had fun! ...Bye." #Monsterdon

"The salt, the pepper, the bay leaves! The green wood, the ashes, the barbecue sauce!" #Monsterdon

They couldn't afford an actual script so they just got a dude with a sound board. I'm waiting for that one synth hit they all use, you know the one. #Monsterdon

"What... Is it?"

It's a bad movie, honey. Sorry. #Monsterdon

Oh, here's tonight's Torgo! Let's all give him a round of applause, hello Torgo! #Monsterdon

Two words... Sounds like... #Monsterdon

"Yes, well, we only have Pepsi. Is that okay?" #Monsterdon

"The site said this place was an open plan, I'm gonna leave this Air BnB SUCH a review..." #Monsterdon

DO SOMETHING

GOD >:(

Ugh, I hate Sister Mary Golden Hair -_-; #Monsterdon

...So is she our Renfield? #Monsterdon

Oo, Dasblinkenlights! Nice, been a while. #Monsterdon

Incidentally, the movie's about a third over now.

We've had like three lines.

HA HA HA HA HA

WOW

That Frankenstein :D #Monsterdon

WHOOOOOOOA

THE COOL RAAAAAAANCH!!!! #Monsterdon

Igor, as portrayed by Cheech Marin. #Monsterdon

Meanwhile, on the Moulin Rouge??? #Monsterdon

She's singing about the lunch specials. #Monsterdon

Whoops, found the one gay guy in the audience. He's critiquing her fringe. #Monsterdon

"Oh god, Frankenstein! You're slightly less attractive than the men out in the restaurant!" #Monsterdon

Disembodied Cop Voice! #Monsterdon

I know we've heard her voice already, but I'm mentally dubbing Fran Drescher in for the cabaret singer. #Monsterdon

Huh. So *this* is Martinizing. #Monsterdon

HARDLY ANY ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FILM

Toaster's ready. Again. #Monsterdon

Dracula: I don't feel dead. Actually I feel pretty good! #Monsterdon

Watch them hands, Cheech Igor. #Monsterdon

Ugh, can we... Not, with this scene D: #Monsterdon

"Let's just warm you up by the fire, poor dear." #Monsterdon

Aw, Dracula beddy-bye time! You need a glass of blood? You got tigger and eyore? C'mon, we'll read Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooey. #Monsterdon

What? Wait, hold up, who's THIS chick? #Monsterdon

Aaaand she flees the movie. Wise woman. There but for the grace of god go I. #Monsterdon

THIS FILM IS JUST

CLOSEUPS

OF TWITCHING

"Oh yeah, baby, hey my UHaul is just outside..." #Monsterdon

"And now my powers were limitless!"

...Apparently? ¯\_(:/)_/¯ #Monsterdon

"...And that's how I got my start with Amway." #Monsterdon

I wish I knew why this film keeps zooming in on eyeballs like that. Maybe it was funded by a mascara company? #Monsterdon

Y'know, film, I think you've set enough TEXTURE, maybe it's time to move on to SUBSTANCE. #Monsterdon

"What is it? What's the matter?'

I'm still in this movie! God *damn* it! #Monsterdon

Oh yeah baby, shoot me up with the good stuff doctor. I'm up after her, c'mon I need it to get through this film. #Monsterdon

"And now the battle begins!"

Let's not kid ourselves, guys. This is gonna be like The Mummy vs The Robot, the whole fight's gonna be five seconds at the end of the flick. #Monsterdon

So she's institutionalized, but still allowed an underwire bra? #Monsterdon