Oh Jesus, no. #Monsterdon
"Let's just take the birth control pills on schedule, this is a Franco movie after all..." #Monsterdon
Heh, they, uh, didn't get the grey paint QUITE all the way up to his hairline did they ^^;;; #Monsterdon
Cat's like, that was my meal ticket you BASTARD #Monsterdon
"Oh, sounds like a woman being murdered in the next room. Huh. Well, not my problem." #Monsterdon
So, Franco was credited as a writer for this flick. Do you think the script looked like, "Scene 1, act 1: Woman: Groan. Groan. Groan."? #Monsterdon
Oh hey, someone spoke!
Stop that.
GAH, JESUS, ENOUGH WITH THE EYEBALL CLOSEUPS D: #Monsterdon
Oh hey, turns out SHE was the Clapper. Wondered where they put that thing. #Monsterdon
And now, enjoy a horse's ass. #Monsterdon
Glad the horses seem to speak his language, 'cos I sure as hell don't. #Monsterdon
Are we sure Jesus Franco didn't also direct Manos: The Hands of Fate?
I'm just saying, dingy camera work, almost non-existent dialogue, bad dubbing... #Monsterdon
Man, those Jehovas Witnesses just don't give up, huh. #Monsterdon
And now, Dracula on the Haunted Harpsichord. #Monsterdon
WE GET IT
THERE'S A BAT PRESENT
MOVE ON
"Oh, no you want Count DRACULA, he's two valleys over. This is the home of Count DRAGULA, sorry honey." #Monsterdon
"Okay, well... I'm just gonna go now. I... I'll call you. I had fun! ...Bye." #Monsterdon
"The salt, the pepper, the bay leaves! The green wood, the ashes, the barbecue sauce!" #Monsterdon
They couldn't afford an actual script so they just got a dude with a sound board. I'm waiting for that one synth hit they all use, you know the one. #Monsterdon
"What... Is it?"
It's a bad movie, honey. Sorry. #Monsterdon
Oh, here's tonight's Torgo! Let's all give him a round of applause, hello Torgo! #Monsterdon
Two words... Sounds like... #Monsterdon
"Yes, well, we only have Pepsi. Is that okay?" #Monsterdon
"The site said this place was an open plan, I'm gonna leave this Air BnB SUCH a review..." #Monsterdon
DO SOMETHING
GOD >:(
Ugh, I hate Sister Mary Golden Hair -_-; #Monsterdon
...So is she our Renfield? #Monsterdon
Oo, Dasblinkenlights! Nice, been a while. #Monsterdon
Incidentally, the movie's about a third over now.
We've had like three lines.
WHOOOOOOOA
THE COOL RAAAAAAANCH!!!! #Monsterdon
Igor, as portrayed by Cheech Marin. #Monsterdon
Meanwhile, on the Moulin Rouge??? #Monsterdon
She's singing about the lunch specials. #Monsterdon
Whoops, found the one gay guy in the audience. He's critiquing her fringe. #Monsterdon
"Oh god, Frankenstein! You're slightly less attractive than the men out in the restaurant!" #Monsterdon
Disembodied Cop Voice! #Monsterdon
I know we've heard her voice already, but I'm mentally dubbing Fran Drescher in for the cabaret singer. #Monsterdon
Why's Doctor Frankenstein look like Jeeves? #Monsterdon
Huh. So *this* is Martinizing. #Monsterdon
HARDLY ANY ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FILM
Toaster's ready. Again. #Monsterdon
Dracula: I don't feel dead. Actually I feel pretty good! #Monsterdon
Watch them hands, Cheech Igor. #Monsterdon
Ugh, can we... Not, with this scene D: #Monsterdon
"Let's just warm you up by the fire, poor dear." #Monsterdon
Aw, Dracula beddy-bye time! You need a glass of blood? You got tigger and eyore? C'mon, we'll read Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooey. #Monsterdon
What? Wait, hold up, who's THIS chick? #Monsterdon
Aaaand she flees the movie. Wise woman. There but for the grace of god go I. #Monsterdon
THIS FILM IS JUST
CLOSEUPS
OF TWITCHING
"Oh yeah, baby, hey my UHaul is just outside..." #Monsterdon
"And now my powers were limitless!"
...Apparently? ¯\_(:/)_/¯ #Monsterdon
"...And that's how I got my start with Amway." #Monsterdon
I wish I knew why this film keeps zooming in on eyeballs like that. Maybe it was funded by a mascara company? #Monsterdon
Y'know, film, I think you've set enough TEXTURE, maybe it's time to move on to SUBSTANCE. #Monsterdon
"What is it? What's the matter?'
I'm still in this movie! God *damn* it! #Monsterdon
Oh yeah baby, shoot me up with the good stuff doctor. I'm up after her, c'mon I need it to get through this film. #Monsterdon
"And now the battle begins!"
Let's not kid ourselves, guys. This is gonna be like The Mummy vs The Robot, the whole fight's gonna be five seconds at the end of the flick. #Monsterdon
So she's institutionalized, but still allowed an underwire bra? #Monsterdon
Oh, now it's HIS turn to strip! Take it off, doctor, woo! #Monsterdon
I've always been impressed by Frankenstein's innovative fighting techniques. #Monsterdon
@CactuarJoe It's almost like an Italian horror trope
@CactuarJoe Director's fetish
@CactuarJoe it’s like nobody took their meds