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Yeah that goblin head is *definitely* not road legal.

Aw you broke the yolk :/

...Yeah, how DOES Pong kill a man?

Oh yeah, look DIRECTLY DOWN THE BARREL there we go

Welp, gotta put the electric knife down now. Stand back. So long Ol' Yeller.

He died as he lived, twitchy.

Aaand the soda hits him in the dick causing a massive blood explosio- I WAS JOKING

Wait, so the bicycles aren't alive? How complex does a machine have to be before it comes to life?

HOLY SHIT jack chick tracts in the car D: D: D:

"I took you thirty feet, I expect some poon!"

C'MOOON Megaweapon! Flatten the evangelical!

Nice to see the actual protagonist has joined the film, I hope she kicks that guy's ass.

This film is just people arriving at the truck stop for an hour and a half.

My god, there's red corn syrup strewn all OVER this place!

That clock harbors deep hatred towards humanity.

Dude's about to get murdered by Mater.

"Are you dead?"

Yes honey, I'm dead.

Aaaaand then their car runs them both over.

Damn, Lisa Simpson is a helluva driver.

...Does it see through the rear-view mirrors, then?

"You ever see that much nothing?"

We're watching this film, aren't we?

Sprinklers like AAAAAAAAAARGH I WILL *KILL YOU HUMAN CHILD* sprinkle sprinkle sprinkle

So the guy strangled by their walkman... Is the cord prehensile?

I do like the idea of a homicidal ice cream truck, though. The hunter has become the hunted :D

Oh someone's getting punched.

"Look out!"

Dude we just had a ten minute scene about why he CAN'T DO THAT.

So real quick, the appliance immediately to your left is the one that kills you. How do you die?

Me I get brained by a controller.

He ran over *the Bible!* The disrespect!

Capitalist boy over there trying to figure out how to charge the sentient trucks rent 9_9

"Where are they going, Curtis?"

Why the ancient Lost Trucker Burial Grounds, of course!

So we all agree the newlyweds' car hasn't turned on them because it's their third, right?

...And the truck spontaneously bursts into flame. Okay sure, why not.

"We can call the police-"

Chief it's gone a leeeeeettle beyond the boys in blue here.

WHO GAVE PAPA SMURF THE FUCKING ROCKET LAUNCHER???

He's fine, it's a head wound. Literally his least essential part.

AND WE HAVE A TITLE DROP

Cactuar Joe

"If I put my arm around you, would you stick me with that thing?"

I mean, if that's what you're into, sure.

...Flight of the Valkyries. Okay. Very serious directorial vision there, mister King.

He's doing the quiet southern man menacing whisper. Pretty soon he'll start talking about throwing 'em to the crocodiles.

I still don't know why Capitalist Pig is still alive, man bitching about money and control that much in a survival situation is sucking around for some friendly gunfire.

Kid, tell me you are not going to try and Solid Snake this thing.

No problem? Use your head, boy, you're gonna fuck yourself to dehydration in less than forty-eight hours!

Okay so there's no cars on the island. Are there walkmans? Lawnmowers? Electric knives?

Is the Magic Comet Techno Juju triggered by anger towards tech? Every time someone yells at a piece of technology it blows up or turns off.

...Why do the trucks need headlights?

Ooo, he's a *fuckhead* well I'm sure he's just devastated mister estivez

The FLASHLIGHT isn't sentient and homicidal?

You guys didn't rehearse these lines, did you? ^^;;

Oh thank god, he's dead. Whew, I was worried there for a minute.

"We went out to save a filthy Christian evangelical and came back with a clean-cut American kid. You're welcome, honey."

Do none of you people understand the concept of a SHOULDER-FIRED rocket?

Whaaat, you mean the capitalist pig has no TACT??? Who'd have thunk it?

That's the best slap you've got, girl? Put some English on it! Get a windup for chrissakes, you're slapping the least likeable man in a KING plot!

KILLDOZER! Wow, this is an all-star mechanical cast!

Is that a... Rail hand cart with a machine gun on it?