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They don't airbrush walls like that anymore. #Monsterdon

Run, Jenny, you've stumbled into the Epstein manor. #Monsterdon

Man, those prosthetic teeth are way over the top. Dude can barely close his mouth. #Monsterdon

Ha ha, the dress just drops off like, "welp don't need that anymore! This is a Hammer flick, after all!" #Monsterdon

But yes, remarkably fast Time To Titty even for a Hammer flick. #Monsterdon

HA HA HA, slain by a squirt knife! Gotta remember to pump up the pressure first! #Monsterdon

Shoutout to the dude who speared him in the groin, tho, you'd think that'd be his weak point. #Monsterdon

The count is dead! Bring in the peppermint schnapps! #Monsterdon

Wow, gettin' gleeful about this vampire murder. #Monsterdon

Destroy the castle! Whip the rocks from the foundation! Make sure you don't look in the extremely obvious cellar, men, the vampire needs to come back in the third act! #Monsterdon

Woof, that text is FUSCHIA :/ #Monsterdon

Credits being haunted by a pissed-off Vulcan. #Monsterdon

BRING OUT YER DEEEEEAD

BRING OUT YER DEEEEEAD #Monsterdon

...Oh, it IS a plague cart, never mind >_> #Monsterdon

"Vampires are only a legend! Now I'll just sit back and wait for my entirely deserved ironic death!" #Monsterdon

"If they got in, I can get out."

Yeah I wouldn't want to stick around for that corny tourist trap either. #Monsterdon

"There's the roadblock!"

More of a forestblock, but sure #Monsterdon

Horse like, "YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, PUNKASS" #Monsterdon

oh god a chimp :/

Please please do not turn into a funny chimp movie #Monsterdon

Oh that burger is high as a kite. #Monsterdon

It

...what the fuck? #Monsterdon

Guys there are kids in the audience. #Monsterdon

Sure, but will it play in Shtetl? #Monsterdon

"I love her too"

I-I wasn't staring at the tiger lady, I don't know what you mean! #Monsterdon

...Frodo? #Monsterdon

"Ladies and gentlemen, the performance is over."

And now, lunch! #Monsterdon

*smooch* Eew, Fancy Feast breath :/ #Monsterdon

Hitting a high Tits-Per-Second count here #Monsterdon

That's why you give your panthers a safe word, folks. #Monsterdon

Oops, found a deposit of Greenscreenite. #Monsterdon

...Boogermeister? #Monsterdon

Oh, it's the mirror of homoerotic doom #Monsterdon

HA HA HA HA HA HA

oh my god I haven't seen a panther puppet THAT bad since Apocalypto! :D #Monsterdon

Wow, granny went all floppy in death #Monsterdon

Even for vampires, veal is in bad taste. #Monsterdon

He died as he lived, bloated and greasy. #Monsterdon

Dora's main job in this movie so far has been to stare glassy-eyed at everything. #Monsterdon

He paid a visit to the Imperial Office of Exposition. #Monsterdon

Really this is gonna have a high body count because the vampires found a town where everyone is genetically predisposed to staring off into the middle distance and ignoring loud noises off-camera #Monsterdon

Soundtrack got weirdly active in the third act #Monsterdon

The dancers! Someone's stuck silly putty on their necks! #Monsterdon

Okay that's just excessive. #Monsterdon

We really do get some great looks at the actor's dental work in this film. #Monsterdon

Good thing he yelled as loud as possible to alert the vampire to his presence. #Monsterdon

Whoops, the doc's anatomy is a little rusty #Monsterdon

You can't CHOKE A VAMPIRE #Monsterdon

Anton like Ooooh that smarts #Monsterdon

Oo, count's got a new bellybutton #Monsterdon

Once more walks the living Romulan #Monsterdon

OH COME ON THAT DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE A CROSS #Monsterdon

...Sharp bowstring? #Monsterdon

Bat flying off like, "Screw it, I'm movin' to Acapulco." #Monsterdon

And then they all died from the OTHER plague. The end! #Monsterdon

As usual the real strength of the Hammer Horror genre lies in their ability to find pretty places to film and hire pretty people to coerce into removing their shirts. #Monsterdon

The characterization for half the cast was "is X's child"

Like, the most complex and interesting character in the film is the schoolmaster's ex-wife and we get NOTHING about her!

"She's in love with the Count" okay why? What made her become his Procurement Officer? What is she to HIM? But no, we get nothin'. #Monsterdon

@SordidAmok And the Count that thinks.

Well, maybe not. #Monsterdon