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If you were considered “gifted” — especially if you have ADHD/AuDHD — do you tend to lapse into patronizing/mansplaining speech patterns (even with peers) if you aren’t careful?
I do sometimes, and I’m very sorry about that. I was the “know-it-all” for so long as a kid that those patterns were chiseled into the stone of my forming mind, and sometimes it takes conscious effort to avoid teacher/counselor/advisor mode.
@gregly Was considered "gifted" but not ADHD. I don't fall into patronizing much, if at all. I used to as a kid but I was bullied/beaten up because of it and I largely learned to just keep my mouth shut entirely. I have to make a very conscious choice now to offer my thoughts even on topics that I know for certain I am most expert in the room.
@gregly I've been accused of being a know-it-all so much that my default is to not say anything at all (this is why i dont actually interact too much here)
@gregly
Not even “gifted”. I was described by my teachers as “lazy but gifted”. In the dark ages when neurodivergence wasn't discovered my country.
And I have constant problems with it as I probably also infodump on people I feel comfortable with.
Up to the point I double check myself, ask the other person if they know the term or topic, or obsess “did I just mansplain that?”
I was Mistra Know-it-all for much too long. Have learned to say less. Pause my infodump and ask if I’m talking too much. And I was given a good tip: that you get accepted if you Chuck in questions.
I do.
I am deeply sorry for doing this, at least most times I recognize it myself, stop talking and offer an apology.
For my whole life, that 'jack of all trades, master of none' describes me very well. Because of this, I do have advanced knowledge of so many things, others might talk about.
The main trick seems to be to 1. stfu and second ask a (probably) marginalized person for her opinion.